


Oh Mother Dear

by HellsBellsSinClub



Series: Vampire Au's [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Crack, Gen, I Tried, This is what happens when you ask for Vampire prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 08:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10532622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HellsBellsSinClub/pseuds/HellsBellsSinClub
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan run into The Vampire Pirate Queen of the Outer Rim. Who happens to be Qui-Gon's mother.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Tyermama prompted me to do Vampire! Qui-Gon's mother and it turned into crack. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated.

“No.” Qui-Gon shook his head, face stern and hard.

“But my little snookums…. Look at how cute he is!” The Vampire who held him close to her…rather ample chest said, much to Obi-Wan’s annoyance.

Why, oh, why had they been sent to deal with these pirates? Why couldn’t they have had a normal mission for once? And why by the Force did they have to deal with Qui-Gon’s mother again? They had been captured by her not three months ago and now they have to be captured again?

The other Padawan’s in the Temple would never let this go if they found out.

“But sweetie! I want to have little grandbabies! And he is the cutest.” Mar-Gon Jinn pinched his cheeks and Obi-Wan forced himself not to roll his eyes. He wasn’t cute. He was manly as hell.

“No, Mother I am not turning my Padawan.” Qui-Gon sighed, looking tired. Around them, the pirates were watching them closely as if unsure on how to react to the, uh, family reunion.

“Well then I will turn him!” Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if he wanted to flinch away from the sharp finger nails gently stroking his head or lean into them. Because on one hand, he did not want to give the impression that he was enjoying any of this or that he wanted to be turned – because he really didn’t, but on the other hand… Obi-Wan would be the first to admit that he was a sucker for anyone rubbing his head.

“Umm.” Obi-Wan tried to draw attention to himself, and then regretted it immediately as both his annoyed Master who looked like he was just moments away from pulling out his long hair and the self-proclaimed Vampire Pirate Queen of the Outer Rim looked down at him. “Do I have a say in this?” He asked weakly.

Mar-Gon gave him a sweet little smile that would have been comforting if it wasn’t for the fact that she was still holding him to her chest and he was still weapon less. “Of course not little one, you are still underage.” She shook her head, long luscious brown hair flying straight into Obi-Wan’s eyes.

“Yes! See! Underage!” Qui-Gon waved his hand at Obi-Wan as if trying to prove something. Though it looked like he was grasping for air really. Obi-Wan never had the heart to tell his Master that because he was so big, every movement looked comical or terrifying. “You can’t turn him mother; Obi-Wan can’t even legally have sex yet. You don’t want him to never experience the joys of legally having sex, right?”

Obi-Wan’s face lit up a bright red that no doubt matched his hair. Of all the arguments his Master had to use, he went with the sex one? He was sooo having a talk with his Master when they got out of here. Master Negotiator his ass. Qui-Gon Jinn wouldn’t know how to properly negotiate if his life depended on it.

Mar-Gon gave a low hum of agreement and looked back and forth from Obi-Wan and her son before saying. “There is wisdom to your words my youngest son. It would be cruel to make this poor little dear never experience such a thing.” She gave an exaggerated sigh. “Very well. We will talk about this again when he becomes of age.”

Obi-Wan wiggled out of her arms and moved quickly to his Master’s side, straightening his robes and rubbing off the lipstick kisses that Mar-Gon had left on his cheeks in the last ten minutes.

“Now then Mother, can we get back onto the topic of the release of Master Windu please?” Qui-Gon asked, looking slightly tired. Obi-Wan held back his own sigh as he looked over at the Council Member still hanging on the wall.

It was going to be a long night.


End file.
